| 013. |
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February 26th, 2009 @ 7:34pm
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Yet another day of supply teaching. This time in La Push. I was the sub for the music teacher today and it was a lot of fun. One of the classes was horribly misbehaved, I knew that had to happen sometime. But they were freshmen so at least I was kind of expecting it from them. The rest were great. We even played some current songs with the band and put on a little talent show in class. I played guitar and some girls sang and then the rest would play their instruments. This is what I hope music class will be like when I can actually teach in a permanent position. I want to make it fun for the kids!
Speaking of playing music though, been working on a few new songs. I don't have as much time on my hands these days but I try to continue writing whenever I can. They're coming along nicely. One's a ballad the other fast.
I hope springtime hurries up because it is so cold these days. I can't wait to see the flowers bloom and the sky actually not grey every day and be able to wear short sleeves and dresses without freezing my ass off! I think we can all agree on wanting spring to arrive!
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| 012. |
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February 14th, 2009 @ 8:23pm
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I was pleasantly surprised with how well-behaved the class I had yesterday was. I got the call at like 5 AM, woke me and Collin up, but that's kind of the way the whole supply teaching thing goes saying they needed a suppy for English at Forks High. Of course, I take any job I can get, it's what I have to do until I have enough experience to get a permanent position.
A lot of the teachers remembered me which was nice. And you'd think that students would act out having a supply teacher for the day but these ones didn't. Considering they were in 10th grade, I was pretty surprised. Well most were 10th graders. I had 3 periods of them and then one period of 12th grade. They were all so well-behaved. Especially the boys, which to me is even more strange but I'm not complaining.
I'm in the mood for Italian tonight fo mine and Collin's Valentine's dinner. We're saving money right now so we decided to stay in for the occasion. Didn't stop me from dressing up though! Got a new dress and everything. I stopped at the store to buy all the ingredients for lasagna and I'm using my mother's recipe. I picked up dessert though because I don't have the time to bake.
Hope everyone enjoys their Valentine's Day!
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| 011. |
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November 21st, 2008 @ 10:40am
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Everyone seems to be on edge. It's like this mood has descended over Forks and is affecting everyone in one way or another. If Forks wasn't gloomy enough as it is, now we have this intense mood of edginess and worriedness hanging over us. The rain actually seems to fit now... call it pathetic fallacy.
I need to sit down and play my guitar for a bit, clear my head, relax. Even I'm on edge and I have no idea why! It's strange. But the music always calms me so hopefully it'll do that now. I wonder if my parents would object me to me taking a mental health day from school. I just feel like curling up in bed and watching movies all day, along with playing my guitar and attempting to write a new song.
( Private to Collin )
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| 010. |
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October 20th, 2008 @ 10:26am
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There's this kind of gloom in the air, did anyone notice? And not just because its always cloudy, I'm not talkingt about the weather, its this feeling of gloom, like thing aren't going to look up for a while. I don't like it. I want all the happiness back.
( Private to Pack/Imprintees )
Even my music isn't getting rid of the gloom. Usually it does. I don't like this feeling... I just want to be worry-free. Well, almost, there's still school and stuff to worry about.
Maybe a good, sad movie will help me relax. I always feel better after a good cry.
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| 009. |
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September 16th, 2008 @ 10:10pm
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Can you believe it's nearly Christmas? The year flew by, I'll tell you that much. I'm so glad holidays have started! Finally a break from school. I feel the need to go ice skating and make snow angels and build a snowman like I used to do when I was a kid. Jason would always tease me that my snowman looked deformed but I didn't care. I was proud of my creation! Maybe I'll do that tomorrow if the weather is good.
Another thing I love? Playing my guitar by the warmth of the fireplace while it's snowing outside. It's such a gorgeous image and its really inspiring to my music and writing it. That along with a good mug of hot cocoa is all I need to be happy. Oh, and Collin, of course.
( Private to Self )
Happy Holidays to everyone! Maybe we can all get together and have a snowball fight. That would be fun! Oh my God, let's do it! Who's in?
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| 008. |
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August 6th, 2008 @ 7:29pm
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The school year is just dragging on. Days pass really slow these days and I wish Christmas break would just come already. I know, I know, there's still like two months ot go but maybe there's some scientist out there who's on the rbink of inventing a machine that makes time go faster? What do you think? It's a longshot, obviously, but a girl can dream.
In other news, my birthday is in 6 days and I think my parents are actually going to get me my own car! They've been sort of hinting towards it and Jason slipped on the phone the other day and asked where the first place I was going to go was after I got my present. He realized what he said a minute later and tried to cover it up but I caught it. My own car would be amazing. I wouldn't have to borrow my mom's car everytime I wanted to go see Collin go somewhere!
( Private to Collin )
Six days and I'm officially eighteen. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
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| 007. |
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July 15th, 2008 @ 4:50pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
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| [ |
music |
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"Apologize" - Timbaland featuring One Republic |
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It's really far too quiet for my liking. Usually when things get really quiet all of a sudden its because something's wrong. And that worries me.
Jason called from New York this afternoon. Apparently he's all booked to come home for Thanksgiving. I'm excited to see him, it's been a long time. Is it weird that I actually miss my brother? Shouldn't siblings fight like crazy and all that? We might be the exception to the rule, I think, because Jason is my best friend.
( Private to Pack/Imprintees )
( Private to Collin )
I feel like brownies. I wonder if we have the ingredients in the house... It'll only take me a while to whip up. Yes, definitely going to make brownies. Anyone want me to make them some?
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| 006. |
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June 25th, 2008 @ 7:14pm
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Normally I love to read. Seriously, a good book is something I love and I'm even into the older stuff, Jane Austen, Shakespeare all that. But one question I have is if Shakespeare had any idea how utterly boring and difficult Macbeth is when he was writing it. God, I've literally almost fallen asleep about a million times reading through this thing. And it's not like I can just read the Cliff's Notes or something... I have to write a paper on it. I'm nearly done the paper, thankfully, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm ever going to be able to read Shakespeare again without thinking back to this horrible experience.
On a brighter note! I got this massive package in the mail today. When I came home, it was like sitting on the front porch. So I brought it inside and immediately tore it open and you know what? I have the best damn brother in the world. He bought me an electric guitar! I called him like immediately and he told me he saw it in the window of a shop in New York and had to get it for me. I love him. Of course I have to buy the amp and everything myself but this is so awesome. I think my songs are going to sound really great on the electric guitar. Thanks, Jason!
( Private to Collin )
It's nearly October. Time flies. In about a month and a half I'll be eighteen! I think I'm gonna try and get my own car from my parents... they've been hinting that they were going to do that for me soon. I hope its not just wishful thinking. I'd love to have my own car instead of always using my Mom's.
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| 005. |
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June 15th, 2008 @ 10:24pm
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It's only a few weeks into school and I already can't wait for Christmas vacation. Is that bad? I mean Christmas is months away! Maybe I should look forward to something sooner? Like Halloween, or Thanksgiving, or my birthday? That's probably wiser. Christmas is my favorite holiday but I can look forward to the ones in between!
( Private to the Pack/Imprintees )
( Private to Collin )
I'm just about done that song I mentioned... the one about the girl. It's all written, the lyrics and the music, I'm just perfecting it now. I keep playing through it and finding places where I can improve the chord progressions or the notes. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my music. Anyway, I think it's going to be great.
Who wants to write my History report on the French Revolution? Anyone? I'll bake you cookies!
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| 004. |
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June 4th, 2008 @ 7:13pm
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| [ |
mood |
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in love |
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You know what the best feeling in the world is? Being in love. Really, the butterflies and nerves are a fair trade off for knowing that the person you adore and love with all your heart loves you back. I'd never trade this feeling for anything in the world.
One thing I don't get though is the whole sentiment of flowers. Yeah, they're pretty and all but what else can do you with them besides look at them? I think if someone is going to get a gift for another person, something more personal and from the heart is much better. Like a book they know you've been dying to read, or a picture frame containing a really good memory, or something homemade, you know?
( Private to Collin )
Ugh school starts in like a few days. Why, world, why? Why does summer pass quicker than any other time of year? It's really not fair. I hope senior year is all people say its cracked up to be. I'm definitely joining choir again and hopefully there's a talent show I can play in.
I should really go get school supplies. Maybe Dad will take me so I don't have to pay.
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| 003. |
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May 28th, 2008 @ 1:07am
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| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
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Why is it that when the summer finally starts getting good it means that its ending soon? Seriously. I think the world plans it that way so all the kids who have to go back to school start to really enjoy their summer weeks before school starts up again. It’s an evil, evil concept. I should write a brooding song about the end of summer. I bet it would sell millions because I’m sure everyone in the world can relate. Stupid summer having to come to an end.
On a happier note, I totally found the cutest new bikini with the help of my boyfriend! Collin and a new dress for Mike’s party. Who’s excited for that? I can’t wait to see everyone and hang out. I’m going to miss you all so much. You better promise to keep in touch or I will hunt each of you down and torture you with… well, I don’t know what, but I’ll think of something!
( Private to Collin )
I’ve been working on this one song for a while now… about the shy girl who feels like she’s invisible. And I think I’ve finally found the inspiration to finish it. I couldn’t get the melody right and the lyrics were a bit off. I’m excited to see how it turns out.
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| 002. |
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May 23rd, 2008 @ 1:32am
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| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
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So, I don't think boredom is going to be a problem for me anymore. No, In pretty much found the cure to that when I was at First beach the other day. What is this cure, you ask? Sorry! That's my secret. I'm not about to share him it anytime soon. But if you happen to have some extra time and feel like going to La Push? You might get as lucky as I did and find just the thing you've been looking for.
I'm going to be spending a lot more time in La Push from now on. A lot more time.
( Private to Collin )
Have any of you ever been into the woods near La Push? It's gorgeous. There's this spot where the sun shines through the treetops and it creates these rays of light... It's like heaven shining down on earth. I think I'm going to have to go back there and bring my guitar. I could probably write something amazing just sitting there.
Jason called me today! It was so nice to hear from him. Is it weird that I actually miss my big brother? Why does he have to go to school all the way in New York? And take a summer course so I don't get to see him until Thanksgiving? So not fair. At least he called though. It was nice to hear from him.
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| 001. |
[ | |
May 21st, 2008 @ 1:01am
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| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
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Could it get any more boring in Forks? Really. I feel like I could collapse and die just of boredom alone. I can see the headlines now: “Girl Found Dead in Living Room: Cause of Death? Boredom”. Geez, someone save me, please. I’m thinking of calling into Newton’s and seeing if they want me to take on some extra shifts, I’m so bored. There must be another way to occupy my time.
I think the only thing that’s keeping me sane is my guitar. I could sit and play for hours, really and I’ve been trying to write this one song for days. I keep going back and adjusting things, changing notes and chords. I’m such a perfectionist and sometimes it works in my favour but right now? It’s killing me slowly. Very, very slowly.
I think I’m going to head down to First Beach in La Push. It’s always to nice out there and it’s the perfect setting to play my guitar and sing. It’s nice when no one’s around and I can just belt it out, not worrying about what people are hearing or thinking. And when the sun is shining through the clouds? It’s like this gorgeous picture of heaven. Very inspirational. Too bad that kind of sun and beautiful image doesn’t happen often in Forks. I guess I’ll be spending a lot of time in La Push this summer. Okay, yes, that’s what I’ll do. First Beach here I come! Maybe that’ll cure my boredom for a bit.
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